Old 02-07-2020, 11:51 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
trailmix
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Originally Posted by amh293 View Post
@trailmix - he went to 30 day rehab until the end of August and then we broke up in early Oct. so roughly 2 months ish if you don't include the 30 day rehab otherwise it would be more like 3 months. Could that re-wiring of the addicts brain that you and others speak of have started to happen that quickly within 2/3 months from rehab to breakup? Re: the dealer-- i saw one of the messages the dealer was asking my ex for a ride. Im not sure obviously what the deleted one said, but i know one of them was asking for a ride and my ex at one point said he wasn't answering, but yet there are pics online of him out to dinner and at gym w dealer?? In terms of the marijuana, I don't know if he was smoking it, i mean obviously he was because no medication causes a false positive for THC. Could CBD oil cause THC positive drug test if he was using the oil? His texts throughout the breakup were just so drastic. He says " ive always loved you, but i can't be with you." -- I spiral when i think of this because i think to myself okay, am i really toxic like he is telling me? Is he thinking i'm toxic and that's why he is saying he can't be with me or is that a common projection that addicts use? If it is really the addiction, how come everytime before he bought pills behind my back and his families back he never broke off the relationship then, i truly don't understand what is different.
Yes addicts isolate and PAWS is unlikely at this point from what I understand, he's pretty early in to recovery (if he's in recovery at all).

I don't know much about CBD oil and testing positive for THC, one would think there would have to be a component of THC to test positive but I'm sure there must be references online.

Addicts don't fix themselves up in a few months. Remember they have had YEARS and YEARS of addiction and what that does to them mentally and physically.

It's not like a malady where say, you break your leg and in 4 months it is healed and you carry on as though it was never broken.

I'm guessing he wasn't all that great of a partner all that time he was in active addiction (if he is even attempting recovery now), so why would you think he might have all of a sudden become this great person now?

If he was selfish then, he's still selfish. Remember, when they are living in active addiction that is their LIFE, every single minute of every day. When they aren't using they want to be, when they have drugs they are thinking about how long that will last and where they can get more at X o'clock when they run out. How can they get extra Saturday so they can REALLY party etc etc - it's all about the drugs and them.

No one and I mean no one, escapes that lifestyle and just becomes ok. He will ALWAYS be an addict, for the rest of his life, that doesn't ever change. Doesn't mean he will always be actively using, but it will always be lurking and he will have to be diligent not to fall back in to it.

He is in the very very early stages of recovery, if he really is, so you can't expect him to be behaving normally or even be behaving like he did in addiction, when he was with you. These are big life changes.

The absolute best thing for you is to look after yourself, focus back on yourself, all that attention and care you normally reserve for him, what if you focused that on yourself? How would that look, how much better would you feel.

Don't give him the power to hold this former relationship over you, you get to make the decision to leave it.

He has been clear in the way he intends to live his life now, you can't change that, you can't change people (and why would you want to) he is who he is, which is not a really nice guy right?

Getting him "back" or even attempting to, is not making you feel better and isn't going to. You can help yourself by taking care of yourself, first and foremost. Reading things that help you, doing nice things for yourself, realizing that you deserve so much better in an SO,
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