Originally Posted by
JdA23 
But i told myself that sobriety was something I wasnt going to fail. I feel the longer I was going to meeting and leads that more likely I was going to though. Its just my personality. The cravings never subsided because I was constantly being reminded of them.
This is different than I experienced it. I attended meetings every night. Consequently, I was thinking about alcohol all the time, but the cravings diminished to near zero quickly. Thinking about alcohol in that context was not the equivalent of craving. It was something else. Maybe it was centered around watching for triggers and planning strategies to deal with them should they appear. Now that I'm thinking about this, it would seem that recovery requires considerable concentration on the problem, at least at first. On the other hand, I have dealt with other problems where the solution was to stop concentrating on them. For some reason, I didn't apply that strategy with alcohol. Eventually, I just stopped thinking about alcohol, as it no longer played a role in my life.
When I left AA, which was way after I needed to be there, one of my motivations was that I no longer wanted to be an environment centered around alcohol and abuse. I wanted to let it go and move on, but that was after 15 years.
So look at me now. I'm in a forum every day where 99% of the issues are alcohol related. lol I'll just consider it a refresher course, I guess.