Alexbaby

Hi Hard lesson,
I apologize for the confusing post, it was my first one and I'm still learning how to space and reply etc.. thank you for reading.

I did find myself both smoking crack and then he said I would get a better high if I shot it, which of course I did.. thankfully, once he walked away my drug use stopped. I only did it for a month or so.. I still can't believe I did it, I have never done any kind of drugs and anytime he offered, I always said no. I think he had me so confused and my emotions were out of wack. The constant "I'm leaving" one day and "I want to see you one more time" had my emotions in a tizzy because I did love him and couldn't understand why he was doing this to me..

In hind sight, if he loved me he would have never offered me drugs or continued to let me use them.. but I too must take responsibility, no one forced me to do it. This is why I am seeking counseling- to find out why, why did I do it, why did I allow it for so long..

I'm so glad I found this site, it is helping me to understand things by seeing that other people have explained the same.. thank you for the reply