Thanks all. Back at home, safe and sound.

I was thinking as I was driving back home, maybe it’s not the dog that is the comfort but everything in this new situation I’m in (my new city, my new apartment, my new dog, etc.) I associate all these things with my new life. But, when I go back up to where I used to live (around my sister and mom) the drinking associations are just so big there bc that’s where I used to drink so much. Like if someone who used to hang out in bars then went back to a bar. I’m thinking about while I’ve made 258 days and it’s gotten progressively easier, I also had a bumpy time around the holidays at my sister’s and now this MLK weekend at my mom’s. And the other day I’d been feeling shakey after I got in an argument with my sister about bringing the dog up for this weekend. All of my bumpy moments have involved either my sister or my mom. This is NOT to say this is their fault (it’s definitely, definitely not...it’s no one’s fault, it’s just a fact). This is just to say i think I definitely associate being at their homes with drinking and I also associate dealing with things like family drama with drinking. Not because of their drinking but bc that is where I was often when I was drinking too much (and they’d been long asleep) and that is how I used to deal with conflict.

I’d hate for any newcomer to read this and think “It is still this hard at 258 days?!?!” To those people I’d say: it’s gotten MUCH easier. But that doesn’t mean that the first year can’t be a bit like a roller coaster and some surprise ironing out of issues won’t be necessary. I like to believe these bumps each will make me a stronger sober person, though. Yet another part of the mountain climbed. And thank you to all who lent a helping hand this weekend. Really, thank you.