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Old 01-14-2020, 02:32 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
BullDog777
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
Hi bulldog. I should go to the doctor too. My depression is worse.

Instead I seem to just sort of do other things rather than go to the doctor. I just don’t want to.

So, you’re a strong man for going.
Funny you say that..not funny as in haha but as in ironic because I don't feel strong. A lot of days I get mad at myself for the fear that I still have-but thanks for that.

Sassy, you've been in the dumps for a long time now. I'm gettin a bit worried about you. You know what's going on to some extent. What would the Sassy at 100% tell you right now? You need some help.

A lot of times with depression, this is like alcoholism...most people need outside help to address it. I did and still do.

There's nothing wrong with feeling f$%ked up in a f$%ked up situation...that's human nature. More than that, the grief you feel, and the grief you're still carrying is perfectly natural too. It tells you how much you loved your dad.
The crazy part-The part I struggled with for so long, was feeling like I never deserved to move on. Like if I felt better, a part of me was betraying my lost love one. At least that's the way it was with me. It took a lot of therapy for me to get to a place where I'd stop hurting myself for feeling any sort of joy.

I'm not a pill guy or a therapy guy, but I needed therapy and grief counseling badly when I got clean.

I don't know if strong is the right word for me....maybe just tired of fighting a never ending war with myself. This was the only way for me to get better.

You owe it to yourself to get some help.

Much love and respect to you Sassy.

Originally Posted by JADIII View Post
I would think that in 4 years your bloodwork would look great. I would go into that lab with a lot of confidence....
Sigh..... yeah...most people would. It took about 18 months for my labs to go back to normal. I'm still on meds, but I'm here, thank God. As close as I came to death, I always worry. It's just me. My wife thinks i'm being silly. For me, it's traumatic. Hopefully everything will come back normal.
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