SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - So called friend was just using me for money and i'm devastated
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Old 01-11-2020, 09:53 PM   #17 (permalink)

Join Date: May 2016
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 67
I felt like posting an update but was a little ashamed, as I didn't completely follow the advice given here. Posting about it helps though as I feel I have grown alot since I 1st made this post. While this experience was bad, I feel like i've grown alot from it. I'm slowly learning to stop looking at people as victims. To see that I can't change anyone and that some people will just not change. I'm slightly angry with myself for being so stupid, at the same time i'm glad i'm learning how to say "no" to people.

I guess i'll continue off on where I left off before. This girl was giving me sob stories about how she hated her life, how her father doesn't help her with paying for rehab and gives all of his money to her one of her friends that he sleeps with. She basically told me she felt trapped and really wanted to change but has no one. Since we were intimate in the past, I felt kind of guilty about not atleast trying to help and hear her out. I made the decision to visit her again, hoping that I would help her with the methodone clinic. Hoping maybe the girl I thought I knew was still in there.

I get there and I can't check into my hotel since my room isn't ready. She offered to pick me up, and since I didn't want to walk around with a giant bag, I agree to it. I forgot to mention it was my birthday that day, and we agreed to go to a restaurant called Miyabi's. It's a japanse restaurant where they cook your food infront of you, but that wasn't open until 5. We started to catch up on everything and it slowly became clear nothing had changed about her situation. She mentioned one of her dealer friends was going on a vacation and had asked her to make a few drug drop offs for him since his brother wouldn't do it. I replied "so you're selling drugs now". She replied "No i'm not selling it, i'm just dropping it off and collecting the money". Anyways it turned me off completely that she seemed to be embracing the street life as that's a culture I can't stomach. Then she started asking for money again, I told her that we agreed things would be different, she told me she already got the stuff and didn't want to be in trouble with the dealer. So I caved in, i'm sad to admit. My hotel room still wasn't ready so I stuck around for the ride, she picked up her dealer friend at one point, then picked up some other guy. I think they did a deal in the back of the truck or something. I was very irate at this point, We ended up having a long talk about how I could not continue to speak to her if she doesn't get help. She agreed to go to the methadone clinic 1st thing in the morning and that she would like me to come with her because none of her friends are supportive of her sobriety. Ofcoarse next morning comes around and I hear nothing from her. I gave her an earful over it later on. The rest of the trip involved a little arguing, we did go to an arcade and have fun a few times but that was about the only good thing. At one point she left me at a bar to meet up with her friend, which was only suppose to be 20 minutes but ended up being an hour and a half. I ended up drinking quite a bit and she found me passed out the street but took me back to my hotel. There was alot of drinking on my part, anger and frusteration.

Eventually my last day there came. She was begging me to stay a few extra days and was even asking me help buy a car rental so she could drive down to my city and stay there a few days to get away from where she was at. She told me she hated her life. I told her I would think about it, but I wasn't feeling well, and I really had enough of her at this point. Anyways after she leaves my hotel room, I noticed I couldn't find my debit card. So I called her frantically and she pulled over at a gas station and said she eventually found it. She came back and gave it to me and told me she hoped I stayed. Later on that night she texted me asking for my address because she wanted to send me a gift and a thank you letter. Since I still live with my mom, and I really don't want her to know where I live, I told her I wasn't allowed to give the address out to respect my mothers privacy. She got a little upset about this.

The next day I had an inner battle, I decided not to stay, no mattter what I was leaving. I had enough. I get home and I basically texted her apologizing that I couldn't stay, but I was feeling sick. She tells me it's okay, then she asks me what my zipcode was because she wants to know how far of a drive it would be to where i'm at. I ended up giving her a fake one, and after that I immediately check my bank account. The reason for this is sometimes to use a credit card online, you need to have the zipcode associated with that card, and I had a fear she might have copied down my credit/debit card numbers while I wasn't looking. Which is why she was asking about my address the previous day. I noticed a few charges on both accounts that I didn't make. I immediately transfer the bulk of my funds to my savings. I tell her I think someone is using my card and she asked a few questions about it but went silent after. Looks like it was an electronic gift card from best buy, a phone card, and a bill paid to the south carolina government.

I look up the phone card website and I type her number in. It prompts me for a pin, meaning she has an account. I also looked up the south Carolina government and I found it linked to a site that had another link to a probation website. It looks like you can pay bills online and I know she had recently gotten off probation last summer. I stopped drinking a few days ago. I didn't make a pledge, I just want to think with a clear mind. I've been making a list about things about her that make me unhappy, and it's pretty much everything at this point. I ended up cancelling both cards and thankfully the money from one charge was disputed and credited back to my account. She texted me yesterday asking if everything was alright, because she has not heard from me. I ended up not responding.

Anyways, a few minutes ago I multiple texts. One from her number, another from one of her fake ones, saying she had to talk to me about something. I pretty much explained, I could no longer trust her and asked her to stop contacting me from other numbers as well. I asked her how she had so many numbers and it turns out she's using some app to generate multiple numbers. She tells me that she's pregnant, but didn't feel like telling me until now because she feels like I don't love her anymore and I don't trust her. I ask her for proof and she starts freaking out. So she sends 2 pictures. I googled searched them and found them on various websites. She's not very smart. Thank God cause I was terrified to death for 3 minutes straight! I'm thinking I should just get my number changed because I know she will keep making up fake numbers to try to get in touch with me. Also i'm not planning on telling her that I know she's lying because she will probably find some other life to try to keep me around.
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