It's hilarious the way my brain is working at the moment. I mean that I am literally laughing at myself. On one side there is, of course, that feeling of looking back on the "good times" and hoping to have them again. On the other side is an extremely loud "NO !!!" that is shooting it down immediately and saying stick to the facts.
I feel myself coming alive again and feeling happier while still acknowledging it was an extremely painful and hellish year. In addition to the 8 week intensive therapy sessions, I will also be taking Grief and Loss therapy and generally looking to heal those parts of myself that allowed and accepted being treated in a way I didn't deserve, but thought I did. I refuse to cut myself off from love and will not make my future husband, whoever he is, pay for the mistakes not only others did, but also that I did to myself.
I had never done it before, but decided to create a bucket list of things I want to do and accomplish and that gives me a place to focus energy on since I have reclaimed quite a bit of it.