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Six Years ago today, I looked up from the catatonic, Alcoholic Abyss and decided in abject desperation to escape from there. Do or die.
A few Months later, after my ill-informed cold turkey quit in Early Retirement from truly-insane daily Vodka consumption 24/7, I found SR during a search. SR has been my primary support after halting 42 Years of increasingly-hard drinking, and I want to thank you all for that. My on-line Search was to find structure to buttress what I call 'The Big Quit Decision'. SR fit the needs of this kinda-Introvert swimmingly. A diverse set of viewpoints, and a plethora of 'try before you buy' perspectives, allowed me to customize my own Recovery Construct. I had a emerging sense - as my MInd cleared gradually after a few Months Sober - of what would work long-term. I *just* had to create it. The 'Secular' Section here on SR was especially useful, and inspiring. I never viewed myself as going it alone. Not with collective SR wisdom and hundreds of Members available around the Clock.
While Business Dinners and innumerable sotted Evenings in 18 Countries back when working provided a wide and memorable assortment of paid-for Ethanol, I think I will forever be amazed that such a powerful Drug is openly sold at 7 Stores locally in our nearby Rural Town of ~7,500 Persons. Alcohol availability
still boggles my Recovered Mind some Days. It also serves as a reminder that serene Sobriety in the midst of such Alcohol Permeation is a necessary Mental Serenity I was on my own to create. I have. For some Years now, I've called my Mental Fortress 'Permanent, Effortless Sobriety'. Because now, it is. Any push-back against Intoxication is long gone.
Sobriety is the proverbial 'Gift That Keeps On Giving'. Through the Mental Discipline it fosters, I've lost 32 lbs. [~15 Kgs.] over the past 4 Months. Also walked away from my nightly Cigar. They were my Addiction Transfer. This trade-off was readily understood, and my choice to help cope. I'm now nearing the end of a memorable fight with an extremely-painful outbreak of Shingles. I mention these Health challenges only because the resolve with which I've tackled them is direct testimony to the composure, and mental discipline, one can achieve in permanent Sobriety.
I joke about having a Spine forged of Titanium and Kyptonite. This formidable internal resolve frames my point here. The common characteristic I read to achieving Sobriety - irrespective of Program - is for a Person to dig
deep. Relentlessly down to a place beyond compromise, or self-sabotage. I've always liked the concept that we return to the Core Person we were before Addiction ensnared us. The pristine Values of our Youth. That Core was still there, and I was one of the fortunate ones to be allowed to embrace it again Sober.
My best *thinking* was not what kept me drinking. My best thinking, and ultimately what freed me, was the clear, innate thinking that emerged after first sobering up. Alcohol temporarily obliterated thinking. Alcohol, however, did not destroy it. Even after Decades. Taking full responsibility for my Sobriety was not easy. But, it was simple. I never did surrender. Quite the opposite. I recognized clear choices, and forced the sole responsible Entity in my Bathroom Mirror to manage them over time. I was not about to accept the lie [for me] that Alcohol still determined my future when any role of Alcohol was solely
my decision. I could live to see the view below out our Kitchen Window. Or, I could die in a Medically-induced Coma during excruciating Organ Failure, as an acquaintance did.
'Intelligence is not what you know. It is knowing what you don't know'
In ways that will never be visible to The Selfless here, and via the steadfast efforts of Mods, I recycle to Strangers the invaluable insights of Sober Life learned in part on SR. I pay it forward to my Friends at the local Dog Park whose Spouses, or Children, are ensnared in Alcohol, Meth, or Kratom. To Folks I meet at RV Parks in our Trailer travels. Contributors here live on in the aggregate of the Sober good and Kollective Karma that flows out into The Universe, and ultimately helps others in ways not readily apparent.
This generous flow might be the greatest gift of this Community, and I thank you all for comprising it.
To those struggling in a myriad of sometimes-hopeless situations:
never give up...
~ 'Don't Give Up' ~ Peter Gabriel ~ Live ~ 