Thread: Why not?!
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Old 01-07-2020, 09:39 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
ScottFromWI
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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This is a great example of how to use a thread on SR to talk yourself through a craving and use the support available.

SoHard - I found it extremely important to set boundaries in my life, and not just in regards to my sobriety. There will always be people and situations that annoy, frustrate, confuse or anger us. And of course as addicts our default reaction was to drink...but what we really wanted to do was escape or avoid the situation. So that's why just "not drinking" does not solve any of those issues - we need to set the boundaries for what we can and will be responsible for dealing with.

With families especially that can be very hard. Accepting that we cannot control other people's actions or thoughts is necessary I think, but that does not mean that you have to accept that your situation is doomed/broken because of someone else. Even the snow day example is a good one - sure it would have been a good opportunity to drink for your addiction, remember you don't drink anymore. You set that boundary and what your addiction says now is not relevant - it can kick and scream all it wants but it won't do any good. Same with family members...sometimes you just have to walk away ( literally or virtually ) and let them stew in their own juices.
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