Originally Posted by
Sohard 
Thank you Tetrax/Derringer. I started to scare myself. I literally was checking my phone apps to see if I still had my minibar delivery one. I was just checking out of curiosity, which is screwed up. I keep thinking, maybe It’s okay to drink. But it helps me to remind myself that I already ran this experiment many times in the past. It never works out.
Proud of you for not drinking! It's crazy indeed when this sort of major stuff crops up - and a trademark of alcoholism.
Entertaining thoughts or even taking the steps to drink isn't strange- but also stuff we learn to fight and redirect. Every day isn't perfect and regrouping has been my best bet for handling this junk.
Keep going. Life gets so much better, easier more frequently, and I have (mostly!) learned to take the bad with the good that outweighs it.