trailmix and hazy — thank you both so much for your replies. I felt crazy posting on here, but reading similar stories is already really helping me process the situation. As far as Christmas goes, my dad was sweet enough to buy me tickets to two different cities to spend a week and a half with all my best friends and family. It was very therapeutic, and helped me realize that if I had been with his family as originally planned, I would have experienced far less joy and quality time with the people that really love me. Which is, of course, exactly how I have already been behaving in an attempt to fit into his life and help him rather than myself. While I was traveling, I saw a psychic who told me that I need to stop waving flags for other people and put a flag in the ground for myself. Couldn't have summed up codependency better, and I'm glad to have this self-awakening now. Found myself a good therapist too, so as painful as it is to experience this, I feel that at the end of the day, the experience has jolted me onto a healthier path for myself.