SmallButMighty

Trying to make sense out of anything an active or unrecovered alcoholic says or does is an exercise in futility. You can not rationalize with the unrational and you can not reason with the unreasonable. There are few people more unrational and unreasonable than addicts. Their brains do not work the same as yours and mine. The alcohol has made real physical and psychological changes to the way his brain works.

Having his stuff in your home has you expending your precious energy trying to figure out what to do with it. Worrying what's best for him. Hoping you don't "cause" him to relapse. Hoping his family wont look at his private things, hoping his family doesn't think badly of you. The list goes on.

I don't know what his specific reasons are not retrieving his belongings and important paperwork. I do know that he knows you have it and don't want it. He knows it's bothering you. He knows that keeps him on your mind. He knows he still has some control over affecting you. He may be acting hateful now, but I'd bet my last dollar he would slink back around in a few weeks or months using that stuff as a reason to insinuate his way back into your life one way or another. Alcoholics don't like to give up their resources.

I hope you choose to rid yourself of his stuff one way or another, sooner rather than later. Releasing his belongings will sever a final tie and be best for your mental health. The sooner you aren't thinking about this the better. He is an alcoholic, you will never understand why he does and says the things he does and says, so I hope you decide not to waste any more of your energy trying to do the impossible.

I know it's hard, I'm sorry you have to deal with this at all.