In regards to the family let me share my experience with you. My ex’s mother would call almost every day and ask how much he was drinking. One day she suggested professional help. That’s when I realized there was a problem I wasn’t seeing. Sure enough, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic!

i just want to tell you a few things she told me, so you will see how they will not pick your side even tho they know the truth.

1- my ex always got “food poisoning” every single time we went out to eat. His mom said he has a sensitive stomach. (Many times I entered the bathroom and he was there drinking in the morning). So yes he used to drink at least a little, but all day long he was seeping.

2- Her baby boy made bad choices because he was influenced by his friends. Or that he had friends who made poor choices, but baby boy wouldn’t tag along when friends were doing “bad things”.

3- Hey Nara is he drinking? If I said yes, she would say “but I know he has control and he won’t do more than he can handle”. So I started telling her he wasn’t drinking much and she would like that answer, sometimes he was blacked out and she was glad I said he had control

4- his Mom said he might need professional help. When I agreed to that and showed her videos and pictures of his drinking behaviors, she said she wasn’t sure he was an alcoholic because how can he be so successful on his career and yet be an alcoholic. (She said that after watching months worth of videos, from a camera I had in our kitchen. Pictures of hidden bottles and all the things A do).

this is just very few examples. His sister is an A, she is sober for 5 years, but they don’t share things like that because they play the perfect family for everyone. So I don’t know if there was relapses. Anyways, I though I would have his mom support, she saw me go out of my way to help him. I did things she wouldn’t do to not push him away from her. I feel manipulated by her, cuz at the end I ended up pushing him away from me. I feel used by his family. And when I called her to tell he son called our wedding off, she told me to stay away from his life since I was causing him to drink. Yes
that’s the excuse he used to break up.

I wrote many letter to her, I never sent tho. But writing and reading out loud help to feel some relief. But it might just make things worse if you send. They might agree with what you say and all but still they will have his back.

oh one more thing. All the things his family said about his ex girlfriend he dated for 8 years, they are now saying about me. The exactly same things!!! And she was also the reason he made poor choices. So don’t count on them for any kind of support. It’s been 4 months since we broke up and no one in his family ever reached out to at lest check if I’m ok. His sister and I talked very often, she was helping me planning our wedding and I haven’t heard from her either.

I am sorry you are going through that. Is very painful.