What should I do?
I lived with an alcoholic for a year. I thought he was the one for me & we talked about the future. He would even write me letters that he apologized for the drinking getting in the way & wants a future. Anyways, his drinking kept putting strains onto the relationship, I would come home from work and he would sometimes threaten me by saying he would leave or go to a hotel out of the blue. There were days where he told me he was only staying because of me &I am his only friend. He hardly went to work & I believed he got fired. I covered more than half his rent the last few months he lived with me and he promised to pay me back. He would go to the bar everyday and be drunk by noon, I would say he would have 14 drinks and I found a receipt one time he would spend $124 in one sitting at the bar. He ended up in the hospital a few times from his drinking and His family would ask me to tell them every time he would drink. I would not tell them every single time as I let him tell them as he would get really mad if I were to talk to his family and would threaten to break up if I did. Then It all lead up to moving back in with his family.
After a month, he moved out to a house for a month. In this month, he relapsed really bad to the point he wasn't going to work after he barely had a new job for a couple months. His family would call me to ask where he was and I wouldn't know since I didn't live with him anymore. He bailed out on seeing me or going to concert after months of planning. Then he moved back to his family house. After a month living back with his family, he came and help move furniture out of my place and a couple weeks later after I told him i need help cleaning the place up thats when he decided he wanted to go on a break. After he moved out of my place, we hardly saw each other during those 3 months then he wanted a break and told me to not contact any of his family anymore. He wanted to focus on himself and find himself to be happy again. He said he still loves and cares a lot about me but He wanted no contact with me and he wants to revisit in a month to 3 months when hes ready. He said he would contact me and would want to talk again and hang out slowly and possibly resume the relationship. This was hitting me hard as I loved the guy who felt like was cutting me out for good but I respected to not contact him. I cried a lot and felt so heartbroken after everything I've done for him and supported for him. I was even more sad when I found a lot of his personal stuff he left behind. I put it in a box.
its been a few months since this happened. Just a month ago, he contacted me wanting to meet up to talk. I told him I had the stuff & I know about his debt that he owes and that he still owed me money but wasn't ask to be paid right away only when he was ready like he told me he was going to. then He bailed on the talk and told me that his family didn't want us to meet. He made me feel like i am hated by the family after everything I've done for the guy. After that, he twisted everything and told me i was holding his stuff as leverage and he owes me nothing as he paid everything. He said he got hurt because I only stayed for his illness and to throw away his stuff after he claims he left nothing behind. I was just shocked of everything he texted me and all the lies and twists he said. I responded that he should know that everything we been through I am not that kind of person to hold stuff or throw away that doesn't belong to me. Yes, I put up a lot but I really fell in love and saw a future with this guy even though we were working together to get him healthy.
After this, I waited a few weeks to go by to cool things down from those messages. I put his stuff all in mailing boxes ready to be mailed off. This is stuff that belongs to him that he didn't give to me. The stuff he gave to me is in another box set aside that meant something to me. All i want to do is just give it back to him. I have a letter written up for his family to read why I'm mailing his stuff to give back to him. But recently he got his family mad at me for no reason. Idk what he says to them as i dont talk to him or the family but i don't want to cause any drama with anyone.
Should I mail the stuff back or wait to keep it longer after the new year? I still love the guy and i just want to give him his stuff but he refuses to pick it up and I feel like all of this is my fault and trying to move on and still want to be friends with him in the future.