Originally Posted by
Cosima11 
In any case there are skeletons from my past that need to be dealt with, and not just with the amends. It's almost a weird form of dissociation, dealing with trauma.. it's like there's a before and after and my entire life along with all my memories from my home state are defined or heavily tainted by those 2-3 years. I don't think there's a way to get through the re-immersion without inflicting some amount of pain and/or discomfort. I have tools to deal with that now but the knee jerk reaction is still there in a way..
I validate this
I validate this
I validate this
For me, it's not "almost like," it
is dissociative to deal with trauma. Or at least has been. Turns out that's the only way I knew how. That or drinking. Or both.
I'm hoping there is a way you and I can learn to get through the re-immersion without any discomfort, but know that's going to take time and effort.
My first concern in your going home situation is you because I care about you. You already know what my unsolicited opinion is and you've already made up your mind about going. So off you go then with a hug and a kiss.
Come back to us safely.
O