If I'm really honest, my AV knows this is the last remaining "avenue" it has because I can do it as an isolated incident and then stop. It doesn't make me want to drink, and I can pull myself out of it before anything catastrophic happens.
I went out one night in 2004 to a high school reuinion - it was a one night only deal I made with myself.
I didn't stop drinking again until 2007.
Alcoholics don't have control over their drinking.
You don't know that you can get back to recovery for a fact - and coming from the AV thoughts like that are made of crud anyway.
Its going to be difficult and the AV will use that difficulty on you, regardless of how you feel now.
There's not much about this visit that seems like a good idea to me Cos but I'm trying not to be negative - there are some really handy ideas here that could help you stay clean and sober through this visit.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
D