tetrax it does get better as crap as my situation is now it is better then when i got sober. my gripe is that it seems like the steps and actions I have taken now to make like better that WHERE working are meaningless becasue well life can turn around and slap ya down no matter how much of a good boy your being. And maybe i feel i had more "control" over all this and my EGO is like WTF. But combine that with just tired of the day in and day out beating from life well you got someone now whos worn out and is like why am i bothering when nothing i do seems to be helping.
I was lucky too in early sobriety little by little and painstakingly slow my choices where improving my circumstances i was able to see it and while man times I didnt have much reason to keep going forward i did anyway and one by one my good choices made life better. Only for in one clean swoop it all came crashing down.
yeah AAPJ my AV is the opposite it fantsizes about getting some terminal illness so it can have a drink Sick isnt it? for my AV a terminal illness is like the booze jackpot.
Oh well another day I'm just gonna keep going. I feel better today not a whole lot but a little bit.