Respectfully bowing out as well. I've thought through my ability to be helpful here, like Bimini - and Briansy, I wish you all the best. I know that when I did finally quit, there were lots of people's words that finally bubbled back up into a collective source of help for me. Hoping that you find that same help one day from any and every possible person or situation along your journey that contributes to your sobriety and recovery.