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Old 12-09-2019, 06:57 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
aabh
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by HardLessons View Post
Hi aabh

I read every post in this thread. I am very sorry for your situation.

I too was once where you are now. My simple advice is to gather up whatever strength you have left & run for all your worth. I don't say that lightly. Save yourself! He is not going to help you do that.

Meth addiction is extremely destructive. You don't even use this drug but are being dragged down by it. There is no bottom to this rabbit hole. Its very deep dark & never ending twists turns. Its a horrible place to be & yes ive been there.

Please step way back from this situation. The closer you stay with it the harder it will be for you to sort this out in a healthy manner.

I know its very hard. I know exactly how you feel right now. I have been there maybe times 100.

I can tell you that creating distance from this situation & giving yourself time away will help you. Help you to regain stability.

You are contemplating moving out of the country, buying a house, & starting a new business. If any of this has to do with him I would think about it carefully. If not then ok you have a lot of major changes to focus on & keep you very busy. You don't need this huge turmoil & distraction from a meth addict screwing it all up.

Please take care of yourself.
Hi HardLessons, thank you for your words. It's sobering to hear from so many people as I have truly felt alone in all of this.

As for the whole moving and starting a new life, these are things I have always wanted to do. I had worked in the same career for the last 11 years before I suffered a major burn out and life was crumbling around me. I had hit rock bottom, I believe, or some type of dark night of the soul. But I realized later that it was a blessing as I was free to try to do what I had always dreamed of. I had traveled a lot for work and fell in love with Paris and that's where I thought I would want to move. However when I looked at my needs and where I was at mentally, Amsterdam was a much better fit for me as it's smaller, but still a world-class city. I had been there before several times for work, but I didn't think it was "glamorous" enough. I was able to see the charm after my research. I had come close to the decision that Amsterdam was right for me before meeting him and later visiting him there, but really had decided it after that. Throughout this I've done self-assessments on my intentions for moving and, while he truthfully is/was a part of my wanting to move there, he was not the sole or biggest part of it. I found friends that I actually feel connected to, the way of life fits my personality, and setting up a business as an American in the Netherlands is relatively easy compared. It just all fits.
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