Originally Posted by
aabh 
This hurt like hell. I could see it if I had done something. I can even understand about not being able to be in a relationship at the moment. But to cut contact just like that and so quickly for the third time, it's ripped me apart from the inside out. I'm so broken I cannot even cry.
I have not told anyone in terms of friends or family as I cannot handle the shame I feel over this whole thing. I cannot handle hearing the "I told you so" and whatever else they might say so I am just keeping a brave and strong face on until I can make sense of things. I know I am beating myself up over it, but I cannot help it.
Breaking away from any relationship where you have invested feelings is painful, that's very normal. You will get through this. You have support here and will also find support at group meetings, if it's possible to have sessions with a therapist, that would also be helpful.
Yes, if people don't understand addiction and don't understand what you have been through then no, it's not worthwhile sharing it with them. If all you are going to get is an "I told you so". Not helpful.
That's why Al-Anon is so helpful, every single person there will know where you are coming from as they have all been either there or a variation. They know the insanity of addiction and how it affects others.
You might want to reassess the shame? You didn't actually do anything wrong here. You found someone that you love and who loves you (to the best of his ability). Nothing wrong with that. He didn't confess all his "challenges" until you were already involved. It happens. As you read around the forums you will find similar stories. Stories where someone might be an alcoholic and a spouse might not discover this for years. No shame in that.
Most people don't know about addiction, why would they? Even if you grow up in a house with an alcoholic, that doesn't mean you are analyzing their behaviour.
Take it easy on yourself. No reason to blame yourself at all. There are better days ahead, unfortunately there will also be pain as you sort through this. You will be ok and you won't always feel like this.