Before bed I just went back and read over a bunch of my previous posts from the last time I fell off the wagon over the summer... I was in the January class and I had almost 6 months... trying to understand what happened. I'm shaking my head at myself because I can see all the warning signs now, in hindsight:
-not checking in on SR enough (weekly at best toward the end)
-working way too hard -- I was putting in a ton of time on evenings and weekends, which I've since stopped doing. I haven't worked a single weekend in months now.
-going to a million social events I should've never been at. I'm reading over my posts thinking back on what a hard time I had not drinking at some of those... and just shaking my head thinking WTF was I even doing there? Trying to prove something? Be a hero??
-not being honest with my bf about how hard it was for me to see him drink in front of me
-untreated depression at the time... though I think it related to a lot of these other things that were going on
I'm not trying to beat myself up about this, but I really think understanding a lot of this stuff will help me going forward. I have taken a very different approach this time, and so far I feel a lot better about how it's going.
OK, really going to bed now.