Yes, it's one of those situations where the rest is just details. The two big elephants can't be ignored any longer.
That's another thing really isn't it. In "normal" relationships there can be conflict, disagreement or just plain negotiation that needs to happen. With active alcoholism in the mix, all that goes by the wayside because the alcoholism becomes the center of everything.
I think it is why sometimes, after years of neglect, the relationship is no more even when the alcoholic does start a path of sobriety and attempt at recovery. Too much water under the bridge, too much damage and not enough attention because who can attend to the little matches when the house is on fire.