I am not with my A anymore, but I was always ready with open arms to live in him no matter if he was drinking or not. I was also ready to take care of him even when he was sick or hung over. The only thing I knew about alcoholics is that it is a disease, so poor baby there is nothing he can do about it right?!

however it is impossible not to became resentful from all the manipulation that we don’t even realize it is going on. Sometimes jut to have a good night I would cuddle in the couch with him and watch a movie, but I would make sure he knew I was mad at him for drinking and lying to me. He didn’t care he got what he wanted and although i was mad I wasn’t going crazy, so he would apologize and make promises for the next day blah blah blah blah....

if we stay in hope of things getting better of course we can’t just go cold on them. But they do t accept when you show your anger for the situation and use it against you. Even thou I wanted to show love I was to hurt and he started blaming everything on me, I was the one who couldn’t be happy for just one day. Of course one fight created another and the cycle never ends:

what I took from my experience is that the alcoholic doesn’t care how you feel as long as they get to drink that’s all that matter. They don’t care if you love them or not as long as they get to drink. But they will use you behaviors and feelings to blame you for what they don’t like at the moment.