I live with an alcoholic husband who thinks he’s just a fun guy (and he is fun too but not because of the booze). It has not always been easy but I realized early on I had to get to a place like you said of not seeing it as a reward but a path to nowhere, to the point that it didn’t really matter what he was doing. Just that I was not going to waste my time down a bottle. He did not skip one day of drinking in my nearly 2 years of sobriety so far. Like one of the earlier posters said, I have my own sober life.
A definite tip I would have would be to do just what you did already (only keep doing it as needed) and reach out on this forum. These smart folks are really helpful at getting us to see there are much better alternatives to joining in with the drinking. That said, it sounds like your husband cares about your recovery so being honest with him about how you are feeling probably would do you both good.
i am sending you loads of virtual support.