I'm sorry for your trauma and your chemical imbalance. I expect you've seen someone professionally about both those things at some time?
I don't think pot is a solution...most of my friends in my smoking days were long term smokers like me (20-30 years).
None of us were happy stoners. We were all very unhappy and not in great mental health.
If you have a chemical imbalance already, adding in a do it yourself fix like pot isn't likely to work out great.
I hope you stick around too, and I hope things change for you with a little more clean and sober time.
D