Very true!
Perhaps you've heard your Mother say those words before? That can contribute to self blame and perhaps she doesn't mean it that way at all? You know her well of course.
They are true words from a self reflection perspective and when you take the sting out of them, they are actually helpful, but again, doesn't mean they were meant that way on the day!
There doesn't need to be blame I don't think and I think that because I can't think of how it would help (me). I wasn't trying to hurt anyone else, I wasn't being malicious or conniving. I do think at that point I may have had a little bit of the - I am a victim can't you see how you are hurting me - going on, but that's history. I grew up, I got wiser.
Once married, I had a child to look after. When he was pre-school we moved countries, I went to work full time, I had a demanding job, long hours and a long commute. Food, shelter, work. Life was far from being all bad. Just like alcoholism (unless they are drunk every day) there were a lot of good times, he wasn't and isn't an evil person, just has - rage.