Old 12-04-2019, 11:26 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
oddsunflower
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
I found this group in November of 2015. I was in a place worse (yes, it is possible) than what I am in right now and attended my first AlAnon meeting instead of Black Friday that year. My AH found out shortly after and flipped his lid. I didn't have the tools yet to stick up for myself, so I abandoned ship to "support" him and "help" him get sober. I was so afraid he would check my computer that I didn't take a chance. I would pop on the library computer or a friend/relatives but never my own and never to post. This year, when the proverbial **** hit the fan, I came back and vowed to myself NEVER to leave and to NEVER be afraid of him knowing that I am seeking support for myself.
When that fear expired, I felt like I had experience to offer here. I am still dead center of this battle and do not feel like I have come far enough away from my own codependency issues to offer much advice but I can say what did and didn't work for me.
I really wish I had stayed round 1. I don't think I would be in the situation I am in now if I had just stuck around....
Also, some of the comments in the beginning came off as negative. I know now that they are not meant to sound that way. That the harsh reality of this journey is that it sucks and you feel compelled to tell it like it is but it was hard to hear. I have since found that I can just ignore the comments of those users. I see their icons and just skip right by...it's like a subliminal trigger warning.
Not everyone can get divorced. Not everyone can just leave. In a perfect world, yes...this would be the best plan but before you suggest these things maybe ask more questions...I can only speak for myself here of course but this is how I have felt coming here for the past 4 years.

I should also mention that I am the daughter, granddaughter, wife and mother of addicts/alcoholics. My experience is not limited to my partnership.
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