Agreeing with the posts about getting ANY kind of a job, just to get out there and have something to go on a resume. I have always worked, usually making as much or more than XAH. When I ended things w/him, I had just gotten a much better job, yet I was still terrified about the financial part. I can't imagine how scary it must be for someone in your situation.
One thing that I and others here have found is that often we are actually
better off financially once we separate from our A's. We often have no clue how much money is
really going down the rat hole of their addictions. I was astounded to find that, while we were saving
something (I insisted on that), of the remainder, we were essentially living on my income while he spent his on his addictions. It was really no more difficult to make ends meet on my own than it was when he was here with me.
I've bounced through several jobs this past year, stories too long to go into, but in the process, I found this handy paycheck calculator. You can choose your state, then enter your wages and number of exemptions, then put in any pretax deductions such as health insurance/401k as well as any post-tax deductions like union dues. In my experience, this gives a VERY accurate prediction of what your
real paycheck will look like.
https://smartasset.com/taxes/paycheck-calculator
I will also mention that I got my health insurance through the Marketplace for almost the entire year, and it cost me nothing. Yes, it was a high deductible, but at least I had something in case of emergency. Checking into this might help w/your financial concerns as well as making it possible for you to take a job at a smaller place that may not offer health insurance.