Life is a journey of lessons
Don't beat yourself up. I am a medical doctor with a few years experience and I was floored by own lack of understanding of alcoholism. It's been a learning curve for me.
Sometimes life will teach you lessons which you never thought you would learn. There are people out there who will never know the horrors of alcoholism and the collateral damage it creates on loved ones (and I am glad for them).
You are not stupid or silly for sticking around. I daresay being as caring and as understanding is what lead to where you are but that doesn't make it a bad thing at all. You just learn from it. And that's okay.