Originally Posted by
trailmix 
I did what I did with the knowledge and life experience I had at the time.
This is exactly it. I'd never seen a healthy, loving relationship modeled for me as a kid, growing up in a badly dysfunctional household. I had no way of knowing what that looked like. I was lonely, afraid, very aware that I wasn't worth much, and so I was just like the OP in the thread about "Does he have a pulse? Is he paying attention to me?"
You just can't know about something you've never seen or experienced, so no need to beat yourself up for not somehow magically having that information and acting on it right from the get-go. When you learned better, you did better, and that is what counts.