I am the same age and similar drinking history. For me, the fear of damage was at the forefront in early sobriety, it has substantially decreased the longer I am sober. I celebrated 2 years in October.
I think it is hard when you have kids, it's pretty horrifying how we really played with fire.
Time heals most, quitting drinking has immediate and positive results. I quit smoking and started eating better, doing yoga... Of course I had a donut for breakfast, with twizzlers for dessert, BUT in my defense I was outside, dawn to dusk from Friday until yesterday, including during the weekend storm, doing manual labour, so I need the fluff to stay warm. Plus my long undies are getting loose.
Hang in there, you have a pretty extensive work-up with your doctor in progress. We can change almost everything with time and tweaks to our lifestyles if we stop and stay stopped in time.