Clowery,
I am sorry for the stuff you are going through with your husband. Like everyone said if he is that reliant on alcohol, quitting cold turkey is going to dangerous for him and those around him. He needs the help of other and to admit that he needs the help of others to quit.
You are not the problem and you are not at fault for his drinking. He may provide for your family, and you may have nice things, but what does it matter when he treats you terribly. You know that he is going to be irritable as he tries and detox himself. You tried to give him space to cool off, but his alcoholic brain is looking for any thing that will let him get that next drink. So he snaps at you to justify his going and getting his drink. He is thinking with an alcoholic brain. A brain that is not smart, but only after the next drink it can get. It will only get worse the more he drinks. He has to make the choice to get help. He can't due it on his own.
You can only look after yourself and you kids. Try and be strong for yourself and your kids. I hope he comes to his senses and decides to get help he needs to get rid of the devil call alcohol.