Thank you for the comments! I need all the wisdom I can get.
A little more of a backstory… I have been a stay at home mom for 30 years. I am 100% financially dependent on him. If we separated he cannot support two households, and I know I would have to get a job… But I still fear that we will lose our home and everything else. I am 54 years old. So scared of the future. But you are right, being with him is pure hell knowing that he’s drinking and lying. He actually just came home for a few minutes, he can look me right in the eye after the conversation with my son, and not say a word about his drinking. I am going to see a family law attorney tomorrow to gather information on what the future holds financially and with our daughter.