Sneaky Lying Liars
My lawyer sent my XAH and in-laws a letter of intent about our move. XAH was supposedly homeless as far as I knew, but it turns out he was just living in their basement again and they didn't want me to know.
After three months of basically no contact with DD8, now they're all feeling sentimental and want to see her before we move out of state. I am two minds of it: I don't want to mess with them any further, I'm also running out the clock before we move in about three weeks, what's the harm.
So my XFIL contacts me last week to see if he and XMIL can see DD8 for a few hours. I say... sure. Then XAH emails me to see if he can tack himself onto this little visit. At this point I've been dragged because you can't assume any of these people are talking to each other, or representing any of our conversations adequately, so I just said, your folks said they wanted to see DD8 and I'd like to stick with the original plan. He says Okay.
DD8 goes off on this three hour visit, and in the space of three hours, the X-in laws managed to fit in a sneaky visit with my ex-sister in law, the one whose last contact with me was to hysterically scream at me because her parents found out she was talking to me. And they fit in a phone call with XAH to DD8, where he told her about all the progress he was making (note he's not even minutely pursuing any kind of treatment). DD8 is left with the impression that EVERYTHING IS FINE and despite them no-call-no-showing on her for three months that it's all hunky dory and they're trustworthy and great, no problems here at all. Supreme gaslighting, and as a little child, she is totally susceptible to these manipulations.
When I dropped her off there, they told me nothing of these plans, and said nothing to me when I picked her up. They were being super weird, wouldn't let me in the door and clearly did not want to talk to me - which is fine, but co-parenting and visitations require *some* communication which didn't happen. I made the decision on the fly to NOT blow up the whole thing in front of DD8 on their doorstep, but I didn't like it. And when on the ride home DD8 told me about how they snuck in a bunch of weird, enmeshed familial visits, I was livid. Like, all of you guys haven't seen or called her since August despite living two miles from me, and you spend the three hours you have orchestrating some carrot/stick situation with your sick family? UGH. You couldn't just play a board game and eat a sandwich and enjoy your limited time with your grandkid? Who you pretended doesn't exist since August?
Every interaction I have with them is so weird and gives me the willies. I know this is some small beans at this point, but they are SO WEIRD and every interaction is SO SICK, and I'm mad and sad and so frustrated about having to work with sick people so they sick people can manipulate me and my daughter because I'm compelled by the court. And the casual lying, manipulation, lying by omission, control of information stuff is just so messed up. Hate it, hate it, hate it.
Get me outta here.