Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Yes a very hard time and I'm sure you are in shock and hurting.
You also mention kicking yourself, about getting upset about him going on the trip and him cancelling and therefore missing the opportunity to see his old addictions counsellor?
I really hope you will stop blaming yourself in any way for that.
There are AA meetings everywhere several times a day, counsellors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists everywhere. He has not approached any of these. This has absolutely nothing to do with you not wanting him to go on a trip.
thanks for this. Lol. I absolutely wanted him to go on the trip. I just didn't want to think about him dying alone in a hotel room.
How long has it been since he returned to drinking? Remember, actions, not words. What actions is he showing you?
Not sure tbh. 3 weeks ago was the first time I smelled it. It's been a few times since then. The one time he got sh#t faced drunk, the next day was the only time I saw a flicker of him not wanting to do it. He has drank since that. I am not really asking he just either lies about it or gets pretty defensive.