OP,
One day at a time.
As recovery continues, perspectives change.
As family dysfunctional dynamics are broken, great healing and wellness can thrive.
It can be good to recognize and feel emotions, then sit with them a bit before moving on to releasing them. My experience has been they serve a purpose and are to be honored in that respect!
How are you doing today?
----
entropy, have you reached out for help? Local community help centers, a larger one further away if you are in a small locality, and/or private help services. Keep using your voice and break the secrecy and silence patterns dysfunction uses to abuse and hurt.