What to do when withdrawal doesnt feeel worth it?
Contrary to my username, I did stop relapsing for a long time.
Unfortunately, I did again. Withdrawal is always horrid but I used to get through it by thinking of the good things on the other side.
This time, I can't. There are no good things. I drank again because my partner of years, literally my life, threatened me and so he had to leave.
Now I think I have depression (I literally can't cry, just feel doom). And the crap my partner's left me in has real consequences. There is nothing good to push through for because even if I get sober, I will have a whole load of **** to deal with.
Also, I'm very lonely now. As much as it didn't work out with my partner, at least when I did withdrawal back then, there was someone comforting there. I'm now waking up to an empty pillow and utter sadness. I would honestly rather not wake up. (not suicidal, just so depressed),
Urgh how do you deal with this? Something in me desperately wants to get sober again or I wouldn't even be trying. I've cut down loads (though full withdrawal will still be hellish), but I can't quite get over the line because of this.