Fn incredible...
I have never made it past two years...I used to be addicted to crystal...beat that addiction...havent touched it in years..(once or twice only) ....My problem is i am willing to do anything for anyone else who i thinks has a good soul but to maintain my lifestyle i do things that are not right...ive givin up on recovery but there is still a tiny part of me that thinks i could get clean...but its tiny...i should be posting in newcomers but i am far from one...clean time does not equal recovery...i know all the slogans been to multiple detoxs and rehabs...grateful to still be alive...but part of me wishes it would just end...not suicidal but not optimistic about the future ...that is for sure...hope is fragile life is a mystery ...the day is ever repeating...its all a blur...the only way to fix it is to stay high...and thats the last thing i want to do...