Stay the course Wayne.
If you think addiction is a big monster, so is
resentments. That sucker can fester each day
and continue to grow and grow inside us and....
yes, it will take us out.
It's like a cancer eating us from the inside affecting
our hearts, minds and souls making us extremely sick
and for many.....dangerous. Dangerous not only to
ourselves but to others too.
I too have to constantly remind myself about letting
go of my own resentments. If I hang onto the past and
how I was treated by sick folks around me or all those
kids who were cruel and mean to me thru out my school
yrs.. All those whom I worked with, the bullies before,
during and after that crossed my path.....
Yep, many resentments, but what good would it do
me to hang onto them......no good comes out of it at
all.
It just makes me madder, pizzed off, anxious, depressed,
furious, wanting to get even.....
That's not what was taught to me in recovery. The
info taught to me and to apply to my everyday life
and into all situations is to pray for them and place
all my burdens into my Higher Powers hands.
The Faith I was brought up on and continue to learn
from teaches me to forgive and no it is not an easy
task. But, I have to if I want to remain healthy and
happy and sober.
It was just yesterday while out in my gardens when
in my mind I was talking to God and saying how I wish
other knew exactly what I went thru as a child. How
I wish others understood me. Then, I am remined that
there is One person who knows and understands all.
And that One is the Man I turn to on a daily bases
for help, strength, guidance and forgiveness. Within
those thoughts and meditation comes peace within.
The past, my childhood, addiction in my own
family and more, I can not change. What I can
change is me. I dont need to be like them. That
I can be a healthy example in the eyes of those
around me today.
I have enough weight to carry with all those pavers,
bags of rocks, garden soil that I lift, drag, pour around
my own yard that I dont need those heavy resentment
boulders weighing heavy on my shoulders. Right?
I know it hurts, but I hope you find the strength
deep within to forgive and let go with continuous
prayer and learning to live life resentment free
today.
Strong solid sobriety/recovery straight ahead.