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Old 11-22-2019, 07:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
Be of sober mind
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,231
I found this other prayer in the 12 Steps and Traditions AA book this summer when I was having my breakdown and it really helped at the time too. I went to a couple of meetings. I was in so much pain and willing to try anything for some relief. I thought, I'm a sober alcoholic who's having a real spiritual awakening, what better place to go? Letting myself feel my pain and shame was one of the hardest things I've done. Especially the shame. I had so much of it, so many things have happened that were so ugly, things I've had done to me and things I've done to myself. I think the devil laughs at us when we shame ourselves, he tempts us and then laughs when we go for it, just because he can. True sadism.

It was also the best work I've done. I couldn't let it go until I was willing to look at it, examine it, and separate what belongs to me from what doesn't. A lot of it didn't belong to me, but I carried it and punished myself for it because I was too scared to really unpack it and go through it.

It's ongoing though. I never thought a spiritual awakening would be so painful, it's beautiful too, but living in truth isn't always easy.

鏑ord, make me a channel of thy peace葉hat where
there is hatred, I may bring love葉hat where there is
wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness葉hat where
there is discord, I may bring harmony葉hat where there is
error, I may bring truth葉hat where there is doubt, I may
bring faith葉hat where there is despair, I may bring hope
葉hat where there are shadows, I may bring light葉hat
where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I
may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted葉o understand,
than to be understood葉o love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving
that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal
Life. Amen.
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can resolve to live your life with integrity. Let your credo be this: Let the lie come into the world, let it even triumph. But not through me.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
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