Well, without being snarky, you've got me there, Dee. When I read my post and your reply, I can tell you're right to point that out and I'm doing escapism. Currently there's a rift between thinking about quitting and actually quitting. Obviously, there was no real pushback a few days ago, because when I found some cigarettes, I simply walked to the balcony and smoked them.
I feel kind of useless at the moment, because I cannot seem to bring myself to even admitting that the only way to quit is to quit. Which is crap and deflating. My addicted brain sees smoking as some sort of 'bonus quit' in addition to drinking which was 'the real demon'. Hence, my resolve is shaky at best at the current moment.