It really does sound like your self esteem has taken a beating somewhere along the way.
What other support do you have, have you ever talked to a therapist or counsellor? Do you feel you might be a bit depressed at all? If so perhaps that is something you could talk to your GP about and get a referral to someone?
If you live in a larger city there might even be other support groups, self esteem workshops etc you could attend?
Oh and forget about being "worthy" of anyone, male or female. All you need is to be happy with yourself, be who you are, you don't have to hop to it and live up to anyone's idea of what you should and shouldn't do or be.
Also:
before I dropped him off he told me he is breaking up with me as I didn’t pack his sleeping pills?!
Perhaps this guy is not good relationship material right now? You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.