Hi DottedZebra, I'm glad that you posted about how you feel. In short, yes, I can relate to much of what you have written and yes, I do think it can get better and you can move past this.
You are still young and have a lot of time to create the life that you want.
You can have children in your life and a career and get married if those are your goals.
I too wrote about my bitterness towards my parents (in 2009ish posts). But I can honestly say that things have evolved a lot and I really like my life now.
I got married when I was 48 (I'm in my mid-50's now) and I have a good career that I enjoy and I am healthy. Most of my focus now is on my career goals, my physical fitness goals and traveling goals and creating opportunities to be around people who I like.
I won't lie, the dysfunctional life my parents created for me as a child still smarts from time to time. For example, I sometimes wonder if I would be closer with my siblings had my parents not created dysfunctional family roles that affected how we interact. And I know what it's like to wonder what you missed out on in early life because you were just trying to survive.
But it can get better. It's gotten better for me.
Best to you.