Originally Posted by
clowery0508 
I’m not making that decision because then he would just say I found someone to agree with me. If it’s in his control he can’t say that.
I think this is very wise. Also not going in to marriage counselling. What is the point in couples counselling when he is still in active addiction.
As you mentioned, if you do go in to joint counselling there will probably be a lot of "he/she is just taking your side". You may have read that several times here at SR.
Alcoholics are manipulative, it's necessary to protect the addiction at all costs.
Another thing I think might be helpful is to take a few steps back and really look at what he is saying. He's lying to himself about wanting to get help for alcoholism and lying to you at the same time. Now, it might not be "lying" as you and I think of it because alcoholics tend to live in their own truth, their own world if you like, but it's not true either way.
Also when he became agitated when you mentioned you have found a therapist. That's not a normal reaction at all. Hi, I'm your loved one and I'm struggling so I'm seeking help.
Well let me get agitated about that.
Huh?
It becomes the norm in dysfunctional situations for reactions and behaviour which is truly not good or normal to become expected and normal. It's not.
You have your boundaries you are sticking to, that's wonderful clowery. You are moving toward a happier place.