I was wrong. He doesn’t really want help. He can now do it on his own and I’m now the bad guy for finding him a detox and outpatient program. How dare I think that he would do something like that. Lecture lecture blah blah blah. I’m the one that needs help. I’m at a loss. Really at a loss. I feel stupid. Like really stupid. I hear and understand what everyone has said. I know the answers. I’m just stupid enough to believe that things could actually change. Nothing will change and again it’s turned around where I’m the bad guy. I just need to vent. I was so ready. I thought if he really will try and get help I will try and stay and make it work. If not I was leaving. Now he’s not gonna get help and I’m still here. Why is it so hard. Why do I care so much. Why do I love him so much. I want it to work. I just had so much hope.