Jessielynn

Ok I'm going to do a little better on this post , put a little more effort in. This morning I woke up depressed annoyed and like what's becoming normal. I did what I typically do best cracked the bottle and begin drinking and cleaning the house. I went to bed early and I woke up and I said to myself I can't spend one more day like this and I went and poured out the bottles , this will be the second time I have done this in about 6 weeks..but the first time I wasn't just doing it for for myself I felt a little pushed into by my husband, but now truly I can't live like this way.. I have always been an addict of some sort on or off. I just recently have found the struggle almost uncontrollable. My husband and I tried to have more kids and we lost one in 2016 and decided to try again and lost the other in 2017 and the I lost my mom in 2018 and life has been a roller coaster... I need to regain some control in my life. I am getting in fights, my kids see me drinking, I'm just on a one way ticket down and the alcohol is just going to make me lose everything that's important to me, its making me lose myself, I don't do social media , I plan on looking for an AA group but I know I need more then just me, but this has to be the time I can beat it because the life in living is not the life I want.