I’ve posted here before but for those who don’t know my husband is an opiate addict. He had 14 months sober and relapsed in July. Since then he has used here and there (once or twice a month) until this past week which has been more consistent (daily I’m guessing, we work opposite shifts so I don’t see him every day but the signs are there).

I am considering divorce at this point but am terrified of the thought of having to share custody of our children with him. They are still young, 4 and 8, and although he isn’t abusive he obviously will not supervise appropriately if he’s high and will drive with them while under the influence. We have separated in the past but it was a separation for him to work on himself with the understanding we would work on us if he got sober. So I had control over visits and supervised all of them. Obviously divorce would be different. I’m over the back and forth and quite frankly feel done right now. I love him but have no desire to be with him if he’s using.

But right now I believe he can pass drug tests as he isn’t totally out of control. I know I need to consult an attorney but I thought I would also come here to get some advice from those who have been through it.

What should I be doing to start to build a case? He has been to inpatient rehab 3 times. He also has overdosed recently which he was brought to the hospital for so I have that for proof. But it doesn’t show consistent use and he certainly isn’t going to admit to that he’s used since then.

I don’t want to take the kids away from him but I don’t want them in his care if he’s using. What should I even ask for custody wise? Supervised visits? When I met with an attorney a little over a year ago when we Were separated I was told if I do this and can’t find someone to supervise I’m likely to have to pay an agency to do it. Ridiculous! And hopefully not accurate information. I definitely want the order to state that I have the right to deny visits if he’s under the influence when the kids are dropped off/he picks them up but I’m worried he could be sober at that time and then use while they are with him.

Ugh! All of this is what has kept me with him for so long. I know so many addicts that have unsupervised time with their kids. I don’t have much faith that I will be able to get supervised visits.

Sorry for the rambling. I’m super stressed right now 😢