pookie….I agree with the other posters about his story being BS....
His reluctance to accept any kind of help,whatsoever, probably means that his whiteknuckling will be shortlived.
I do differ, in one way, though. I am thinking about your daughter....they look at the alcoholic parent through different eyes than the alcoholic's partfner does. It seems that she has not seen her father since she was 3yrs. old....but, she does know that he exists, because she has talked to him.....
Children yearn for their parent...no matter how bad that parent might be....
Children whose parent has been away in prison, for years...sometimes for really bad crimes....often idolize that parent and long for that parent, in their heart....
Thus, I say, that if her dad can be sober....I wound consider letting him see her, under your supervision....for a period of time, in a public place...like a park or at a pizza place...or something similar. At least, she will have a more realistic picture of him....and, something for her memories, when she grows up. I don't recommend lying to her or covering up for him....just the truth, in age appropriate way....
You might run the risk that she might grow up idolizing him and blaming you for "not even letting me see my father".....
You might run this idea past your or your daughter's counselor....
This is the way that I look at the situation.....