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Old 10-29-2019, 03:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
Troubledone's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 461
There is a sticky on this forum called "what addicts do". It's worth a read.

My addict (niece - 15 years, felonies, etc... too long to recount) - has manipulated a whole parade of men - often several at the same time - to fuel her habit. It's what addicts do.

There is a saying in recovery - keep the focus where it belongs, on yourself.

If you can unpack this experience to see what it is about you that made tolerating illegal, deceitful and harmful behavior OK with you, then you have some chance of not repeating this.

The only other suggestion I might have is - figure out what your values are - what you think makes for a successful long term relationship - and start saying no to women who don't measure up. You may be lonelier than you want to be, but when you find someone who measures up, it will be worth the wait. And in the meantime, you can practice those values for yourself which will increase your own sense of self worth.

Prayers for clarity and courage.
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