Originally Posted by
Sadforldr 
Thank you both.
Ashamed...I was at 18 months and then gave in little by little.
Feel like hell. Body hurts...can't sleep.
In tears tonight for failing myself.
I Failed myself many times too. Self reliance failed utterly. It was analogous to jumping out of a plane. I was offered an AA parachute ( A means to get the power to solve my problem) yet I chose to reject it in favor of flapping my arms. Sounds nuts doesn't it, yet just before my final fatal plunge, I pulled the ripcord and lived to tell the tale.